Hello beautiful bloggers!
Today has been a struggle. I have had my first CVS (cyclic vomiting syndrome, google it!) attack in awhile. It always hits me hard when I least expect it. The puking part of it sucks. But what sucks the most is knowing how my life is changed by it. I need to find a way to move forward. Moving forward, knowing that I may always get sick, seems impossible sometimes. How am I supposed to live on my own? Maintain a full time job? Have a healthy relationship? And then I remember.
I am stronger than all the obstacles that are going to be in my way. Living on my own will be scary. But I will just learn to deal. I have the best support system in the world and I know they will help me when I’m ready to take that step. Working full time? Oh yea. I forget that I already work more than that. Between my two jobs, I’m pulling about 60 hours a week. Dating is truly a struggle.
Every time I start to like a guy I freak out. I get all sorts of anxiety and I have a hard time stepping back and just relaxing. Part of that is because of my CVS. How can I expect a guy to accept and deal with my CVS on a regular basis? It’s a legit fear for me. I don’t want somebody to reject me just because of something I can’t change. On that note, I will be looking for a new doctor and some new options on how to deal with my problem. And you know what? If I do start dating, I’m just going to have find a great guy who just has to be with me cause I’m so awesome! ;)
Announcement ladies. Please for the love of all things Mumford and Sons, do NOT send guys nude pictures. Respect yourself and your body. I get that you love when guys appreciate your body and blah blah blah. What I don’t appreciate is guys who get used to getting that from girls and then they just ask for that. And dear men. Quit asking. If we want you to see our boobs, trust me. You will see them. If not, don’t you know how to use the google machine?
Wandering seems to be in my blood. I crave the ocean and sand, mountains and sun. Iowa is great. But I want to explore the world while I’m still unattached to a specific place. So, let’s plan a road trip. To Oregon. Yes. Somebody come with me. We’ll be besties forever and go horseback riding on the beach at sunset. <3
Leave a comment about where you want to travel and why. Share the love.
And remember whenever you are down, we still have Mumford and Sons.
I’m just going to leave this here for you guys. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rId6PKlDXeU
P.S. Sorry for the rambling. Except I’m not. Heart you.